wanna go halves on a baby?
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
I just realized this morning that my fridge is stocked with coronas, hot dogs, and cheese dip. And I just got waxed. High-five, your best friend is on track to be all kinds of slutty fun this wkd.
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize
