Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
I'm at a winery and there's a 50 yr old woman sitting at a table alone with a bottle of wine and the only time I've seen her get up is to harass the hot dog guy
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
Randomize
