I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
I want you more than these girls want KFC
He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
Randomize
