I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
IM AT A ROOFTOP FUNDRAISER LOOKING OVER THE WHITE HOUSE I WILL NOT RUIN MYSELF
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
The brides mom put a 6 year old in charge of me to make sure I don’t get too drunk before the wedding
Randomize
