i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
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