now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
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