Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
We had sex on a dog bed..
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
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