just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
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