Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
When I left you, you were walking into a room with a half naked girl. When I returned 2 minutes later, you were locked out of the room naked and she was screaming obscenities from inside. How do you manage to make every girl hat you?
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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