i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
Last night i stole a disco ball from a frat house by pretending i was pregnant.
What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
Randomize
