Forgive me I'm always horny when I wake up
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
Randomize
