I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
Observations from Vegas: #1. Strippers pasties pose a choking hazard. #2. Best. Heimlich. Ever.
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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