Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
