She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
we were just talking about designated drivers and i suggested we each hire a mexican day laborer to give us piggy back rides... i have the best ideas eveeer
If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
It's official drugs can't kill me
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
Randomize
