ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
Randomize
