there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
the japanese bartender dressed as a cowboy in assless chaps just told me i was too drunk for another shot
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
Dear awkwardly drunk roommate, thanks for stuffing enough change in my clevage that I could afford a pepsi at work today. Sincerely awesome roommate that put up with your drunk ass
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
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