you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
i'm watching a show about a girl who died from masterbating with a carrot. A FUCKING CARROT, EMILY! YOU NEED TO BE CAREFUL!
I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
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