I got into an eating contest with Christina. I ate 6 oranges.
Why? Who won?
we don't know. we ran out of oranges.
youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
Randomize
