Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
I'm not kidding, he literally jumped in the red panda exhibit. I knew this was gonna be a good birthday.
Randomize
