my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Randomize
