I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
I fell asleep in my underwear on the deck. What the fuck.
This was the best text I've ever woken up to
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
Randomize
