Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
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