Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
I bet the guy on the treadmill next to me with the noise-canceling headphones wishes he could trade them for smell-canceling noseplugs. Hard to believe that last one did not involve any pants-shitting on my part.
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
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