Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
He was married to his college girlfriend for 20 years. Just give him the blow job he’s been fantasizing about since last century and he’ll be wrapped around your little finger
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