Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
In light of your oncoming completion of twenty-three years of personhood, I feel a pressing need to blast country-pop phenomenon Taylor Swift's hit single "22" in your general direction until midnight.
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
Randomize
