Tell her she's as useless as a condom.
when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
Randomize
