I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
I wish there was an emoji for sad lady boners
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
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