I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
If Rob Pattinson gets another fucking MTV award, I'm going to vomit.
By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
Randomize
