And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
I could literally track my booty calls if I ever got knocked up by my parking tickets
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
Randomize
