Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize
