I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
Who died my cat blue again?
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
Randomize
