He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Randomize
