Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize
