Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
I'd like to be surprised that there's a picture of someone pouring champagne in my boobs on Instagram, but I can't.
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
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