Hey was my sperm eye the same day I crapped myself?
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
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