please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
Oh and apparently TSA has to open your present from my family or the terrorists win
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
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