Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
Wouldn't life be so much easier if you could just walk up to attractive men and say, "Let me bear your children" and it wouldn't be creepy?
Or possibly end in a restraining order?
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
Randomize
