i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
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