I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
My day in three words: secret purse cake
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
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