wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
Randomize
