Dear Mark, please dispose of your crusty mcdonalds napkins used to jerk it at my desk
discrete masterbation is a lost art
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck.
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
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