when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
The neighborhood kids rang the doorbell in the middle of my first bong rip to ask if they could use my trampoline for the thirtieth time today...I opened the door and pretended to puke up a shitload of smoke, I have never seen a more terrified group of children
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
Randomize
