under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
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