He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
forgot a fork. i am eating fettucini alfredo with a comb that i rinsed off the the bathroom sink. eating alone in my car. life doesn't get any sadder than this
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
Meeting relatives from another state drenched in tequila and smelling of weed. I'm gonna kill you for soaking the only bra I brought in Jose Cuervo Gold.
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
Randomize
