take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
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