so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
Based off of the soaking wet clothes/towels/rugs, Eiffel Tower statue and monkey in the bathtub, I'm going to assume drunk me took a bath.
Are you really alive right now?
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
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