dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
I didn't have cash to pay cover at the bar, so I traded the bouncer a Krispy Kreme doughnut i had in my purse
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
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