In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
my roomates packed me a lunch. it had bread, cheesewiz, a can of refried beans and a condom with a note that said "good luck on your first day". im not even gonna pretend to be mad.
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
the gays at disneyland are vicious
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
I went home with a guy last night because he showed me some magic tricks and kept shouting "THEY'RE ILLUSIONS MICHAEL!"
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
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