So drunk i had to piss sitting down...
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Randomize
