Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
Randomize
