Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
Your topless pictures make me question reality
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
Randomize
