This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
When I start carrying a bottle in my hand, jumping from boat to boat with a grenade horn. YOU should know this isn't going to turn out well.
Everyone already knows you're a drunk, they understand.
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
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