DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
i just found an uncooked ramen noodle in my underwear
she told me i tasted like america
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
It says a lot about the way my life is going right now that 'there's no shit in your house' is fucking good news.
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
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